I surrender!!!



I've given up!  Ok, maybe I haven't given up but I am surrendering.  I surrender all wedding planning to my wedding coordinator.  It's hard enough trying to please everyone, but it's even harder trying to please them while I'm 300 miles away.  My amazing fiance keeps reminding me that it doesn't matter what everyone else wants, all that matters is what I want.  But I'm not that person. 
Believe it or not, I'm a giver.  I don't think I've always been a giver, but more recently I've put others before myself.  I'm trying to live a 'saint-like' life so I guess that's why.  But at the end of the day it's like "DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT I JUST DID FOR YOU!  HELLO!! A LITTLE CREDIT HERE"  But I'm not getting that credit and it's not important that I do.  It's more important to be an example of service and faith.  My boss suggested I read this book, Jesus of Nazareth, so hopefully that will provide some insight for me.  How did Jesus handle always being the good guy?  I know he threw that fit in the temple, but on an everyday basis, how did he suck it up and keep on keeping on?




St. Isabella of Portugal
Patron Saint of Brides
Pray for me!

My fiance is also a giver and sometimes we clash.  For example: He had a 5 gallon jug of gasoline and offered to put it in my car (free gas!) and I said "no, no, put it in your truck".  And he was hurt that I didn't take his offering.  But I thought I was sacrificing and putting him first.  It was funny when we talked about it at the end of the day, he told me "if someone offers you something you take it".  He has told me that before so I guess I'm not getting the message.

Got off track there, sorry.  So I'm hiring a wedding coordinator!  That way everyone can get mad at her if they don't get their way. 

As I interviewed her I asked a few questions:

a) What about your job do you love? 
     her answer: "the details, I love each and every detail coming together to create your wedding.  I love your happiness at the end of the day"

GREAT answer.  I'm a detail person and it's the details of this wedding that are driving me crazy.

b) What is the one thing you notice brides always forget or overlook? because I feel like I'm forgetting something
     her answer: "When a bride hires me we are always on track and nothing falls between the cracks, but the one thing they don't do is take my advice.  They hire me as a professional and don't listen to my professional advice so that's one flaw some brides have." 

I thought that was a good honest answer.  I could see myself telling her I know best and then my decision ruining the wedding.  And what's the point of paying her 20% of our wedding budget if I can't let her do her job.  Then I'll look like a fool TWICE! 

I really do like this chick, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to hire her.  Her fee is 20% of the wedding budget, but at this point I'm ok with that because this planning process is not fun for me right now.  Knowing she's in charge will help keep things fun and relaxed!



St. Elizabeth of Hungary
Patron Saint of Young Brides
Pray for me

 Living Life to the Fullest with a support team of dedicated women!

-Rachel

Dress Shopping #1

I finally went wedding dress shopping!  It was awful!  Not completely awful, but not at all what I expected.  With all my family events going on this weekend the only time available to shop was Sunday afternoon.  Looking back it was really sad having to squeeze in wedding dress shopping like a chore or something.  Next time I come to town I'm coming to dress shop and that's it!  You only get to shop for a wedding dress one time, it should be a special experience.

The only dress stores open on Sunday are the big chains: David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo.  David's Bridal is the closest to our house so I made a 3:30 appointment.  Our sales associate was super nice and did a great job finding what I asked for and then finding what would look good on me.

Let's refresh what I thought I wanted:
1. Be sure the dress is interesting from the waist up
2. no strapless
3. show shoulders
4. minimize booty
5. find comfort
Ya, #5 will be impossible.  Wedding dresses are heavy, hot and incredibly uncomfortable!!  I don't understand why, but everything I tried on caused me to sweat like a pig!  I might have been having a Carrie Bradshaw moment, but I didn't break out in hives, so I think it was just the fabric and weight of each dress.
The first dress I tried on was an a-line dress,.  The #4 request of minimize booty did not happen in this dress.  It made my boobs look big and then made my tummy and booty look big, definitely not the style for me.  It was comfortable, but strapless so it was out.  Didn't even bother to take a picture in it...

This next dress was cool.  It had a HUGE skirt, way too big, and the sales associate clipped the chest area awkward so it looks weird in the photo.  But the skirt disconnects from the top and the top is actually a cocktail dress that is hidden under the skirt.  I think it's a cute concept that would go well with the cowboy boots I want to wear at the reception. 
I showed this dress to the Farmer and he didn't like it.  His reaction was "It doesn't show off your curves".  I love that he loves the part of me I dislike the most!

This was the dress I "liked the most".  I didn't love any dress, but this one I liked the most:

Wow! The lightening in there is awful.  When my mom took these pictures she took them sitting down, so I look SUPER FAT.  Which is why I'm eating a salad for lunch today.  Here I was thinking I didn't want something form fitting, but the Farmer is right, this look is great on me, I think.  I love the straps and boob coverage but would need it taken in under the chest to show I do have a waist.  This was full lace with a few beads and sequins on the train and bust.  I'm concerned the beads will catch on carpet or any flooring and cause the train to skip while I'm walking down the aisle instead of flow smoothly ya know?  I do love this veil.

So it wasn't the best shopping trip, but the dresses were only $850 so maybe if we find some higher quality dresses it will be the fit and style I'm looking for.  I'm researching Dallas boutiques and the designers they carry.  I came across this La Sposa dress that I love.  It is a Spanish designer, as in Barcelona Spain.

Click for link: This is dress number 7 of 17 

  

I do love this dress from La Sposa. It highlights the curves, but keeps them soft and romantic.  I've always wanted a veil with the lace trim and this is just over the top!  This dress isn't that interesting in the bust area and there are no straps, so we'll have to try it on to see what I think.  I know this designer is in a Dallas area bridal boutique so I might call ahead to be sure they have this dress in stock!

If I'm doing the calculations right, it can take up to 6 months to get your dress in and altered, so I need to have a dress by the end of August.  Eek!  Pray for me!

Living Life to the Fullest, just not in a wedding dress yet....

-Rachel

the dress and the drama

It's time for a wedding post.  Yes I'm engaged. I haven't shared that yet but I am.  The farmer still has pictures of the engagement on his camera that he can't seem to locate.  So until I have visual proof take my word that I'm engaged!!

With planting season here now and harvest coming in the fall there are few months in a year we can get married.  It looks like we'll be having a winter wedding.  Meaning I now have 8 months to get my rear in gear and start planning the wedding. 

It really helps that my parent's friends and my family are so open to help us with the wedding.  My mom's friend offered to throw an engagement party and help me with my invitations. She's an artist with 2 sons that have no intention of getting married soon so she's itching for a wedding. 
My aunt offered to buy my wedding dress which would be a huge load off of my personal expenses, as I was expecting to buy it for myself. Moving to West Texas was the first step in preparing for the wedding.  It helped me cut back on living expenses leaving me room to save.  Saving is the only way to have the wedding of my dreams.  It was a sacrifice I was willing to take but it turned out not everybody is as open minded as I am. 

When my mom heard about my aunt offering to buy my dress she would not have it.  She feels it is the mothers role to buy the dress.  I have never been married before so I have no clue! I've read multiple wedding books and it's tradition for the brides family to pay for the wedding so I guess dress falls into that category.  I do remember reading you should accept all gifts unless it causes tension. I wouldn't have accepted this gift from my aunt if I thought it would cause tension.  And honestly I was blind sided when my mother shared her feeling of rejection.  In no way did I purposly intend to reject my mother and in no way did my mom offer to help with the wedding initially. Hence me changing my lifestyle to make this event happen.

The day before I moved to west Texas, while the Uhaul is full and sitting in the driveway my mom extends her financial help and requests it goes toward buying the dress. She also wants to be included in all things wedding which is understandable as the mother of the bride.  

It's been a month since the move, so hopefully things have smoothed over...  I'll be traveling to Dallas this weekend for my littlest sisters dance recital and I plan on doing some dress shopping if possible.

My thoughts on wedding dresses are:

A) most personal photos are taken from the waist up do be sure your dress is interesting from the waist up.

B) I'm big busted so I need straps. Cannot do strapless

C) Farmer likes my shoulders so try to show those.

D) minimize the booty

E) find something comfortable. Meaning I can sit down in it, dance in it, kneel and stand in it but also it's not so  stuffy that it's not a representation of me, it won't look good in cowboy boots and I look out off place in my elegant farm wedding. No backless silk plunging neckline going on here....
I'm leaning toward something like this:

I'll let you know how it goes.  Hopefully no more drama!

You can't be fearful

This week has been weird!  Mainly Tuesday and Wednesday, I've been in a funk.

I think it's because I had a job interview on Monday and it wasn't as great as I thought it would be.  It went well, but he needs to fill another position before he can even think about hiring for the position I interviewed for.  So that kinda shot me down and I've been down ever since.

I'm also SO ready to start wedding planning but I can't do anything until I pick a wedding date.  I can't do that until we meet with the priest which can't happen until after Easter, so we're at a stand still.

I've also started packing up my apartment. It's really sad to come home to bare walls and boxes.   But I know it's better to get started sooner rather than later.

Today I took my vitamins (haven't done that in 5 days) and saw this quote:

source

So True.

I can't be scared I didn't get the job and grateful I was even considered for an interview.

I can't be fearful our wedding date will be unavailable and grateful I have an amazing man to marry!

I can't be scared to leave my apartment and thankful I have a safe home waiting for me on the other side. 

It's one or the other.  If I'm scared, I'm not thankful.  How can you be thankful for something you are scared of?  I know you can- I'm doing it right now, but I shouldn't.  That's the point.

It's all about perspective. 

Another night of solid sleep and I should be good to go!  Just in time for the weekend.

Living Life the the fullest with gratitude not fear.

I've finally silenced my mind and listened to my heart....

wish me luck!!

Living Life to the Fullest by silencing my mind....try it!

-Rachel

The Ring

I'm not engaged, but the Man in my life is looking for a ring.  Actually he was looking last June when we went to Vegas together!  Poor guy, walks into a Zales in Vegas and asks me to look for a ring I like.  I look at the engagement rings and even try on a few.  But I realized my fingers are really long, and if I don't get a 3 carat round cut diamond, my ring will be unnoticeable when sitting below my king kong knuckles.

So I convinced myself I needed an oval diamond.  I haven't seen too many oval diamonds and I like being unique, so I love the idea of an oval cut (like above).  However, we're in Vegas and in a diamond store and the Man really wants me to come home with a diamond ring.  So he buys me a "ring with diamonds" not a "diamond ring".  Something similar to these:

As I research diamonds more and more I realize....they are a HUGE rip off!  My goodness!  We went to Zales and found an oval solitaire 1.3 carats...we were quoted $13,000.  $13,000!!!  The Man says it's no big deal and he'll save up.  I'm starting to realize he'll be saving up for a LONG time.  And this girl has an ITCH.  A wedding itch.  A time to move on with my life itch.

While I'm scratching, I stumble across an article on AOL article (yep, I still read AOL news...not a fan of Google news layout). 

This article (which I can't find on AOL anymore, so I'm sorry there is no source) suggested a wholesale company I've never heard of:  James Allen.  They are based out of New York and do not have a store front.  

Their comparable oval diamond at 1.36 carat was $4,130.  $4,000!!  That's one THIRD of Zales.  This made me sick to my stomach!

So why does Zales cost this much?  I'm sure can figure out it's because of the hundreds of locations around the U.S.A.  Also their sales staff and their popularity.  As our sales rep at Zales said "We're the McDonalds of diamond stores".  umm wow - thanks but no thanks.  I do NOT want fries with that! 

I'm on the mad search for wholesale diamonds.  I've looked at BlueNile and ItsHot.com. 

          

I also found a local wholesale jeweler who has the same warranty and trade-in policy as Zales. 

You may be wondering why I am looking for this ring and the Man isn't.  Well for starters, I sit at a computer all day while he's on a tractor.  So I have the resources and time.  Also I'm much more money conscience than he is.  If he had $13,000 cash that day he would have bought that ring.  But I'm a sales person by trade and I know there's more than the value of the ring in that $13,000 price.  And seeing that two thirds is going to the corporation, I'm NOT on board....besides I'd love to support a local jeweler.  I know there's a possibility the local guy will go out of business (even though this company's been around for 20+ years).  But at the same time, that's why you insure your diamond!  He could skip town or I could lose the ring!  Life is full of risks.

So wish me luck on this journey!

Look for the next post on Why I'm getting a ring (and not forgoing it all together).

               Sidebar: as soon as I say I want an oval diamond to be unique, my friend from college gets an oval diamond!  But she doesn't have king kong knuckles....she's super skinny and super tiny.  Her photo below.

She did the 6 prongs, which I thought I didn't like, but it doesn't look too bad and it holds the diamond better than 4 prongs.

My hand with loose 1.3 carat diamond -->