Monday, April 12, 2010

I just kicked genuine love to the curb

When the NCAA Women's basketball tournament was in town the company I work for was to be at the Alamodome all weekend. I was to be with the crew in getting them fed and hydrated. My co-worker was dedicated to the teams locker rooms and all that. But on prep-day I got this HORRIBLE pain in my backside. I showed up to work and walked miles around the dome, but when it was time to put on a smile for the client I burst into tears because of the pain!

That night the pain was so excruciating I couldn't sleep - I drove myself to a Texas Med Clinic was given a steroid shot and a pain killer shot in my buttocks, sent home and passed out. Only to wake up the next day in even more pain! I have no family in San Antonio - only (drinking/college) friends and ex-boyfriends. So I called my ex and he drove me to the doctor - but he needed to be at work and left me at the doctor to find another ride (hence why he's the ex) I called another friend (we'll call him an ex too, even though it was a VERY short-lived relationship). This guy picked me up and took me home. He's old-school and who really believes in that "rub an egg on it" trick. Well, I didn't let him rub me down with an egg, but he did help me.

I won't go into details - but the source of my pain was very awkward. And this guy stayed by my bedside for 2 days and nights. He made a hot bath for me every night to help me relax, he cleaned my apartment, he popped a pain pill in my mouth when I woke up crying from the pain. Seriously - I didn't know I had anyone in my life who would do that - and I especially didn't see these actions coming from this person. I'm not sure if I have anyone in my San Antonio life that I would do that for...kinda sad, I know.

Well that was Sunday. Yesterday after 7 days and 24 hours together I had had enough. I couldn't handle the attention and the service. It was driving me crazy. Aren't I a horrible person? "Hey buddy, thanks for being there when I needed you, but you can leave now."

It got me thinking about this thing I recently heard: The 5 languages of love
This guy’s love language is "quality time" all he wants is to be with you....no need to talk, no need to touch, no need to do anything - just be together. I'm NOT a quality time person. I don't have time to be a quality time person. I'm an "acts of service" person - do something for me and I'll appreciate it and likewise, when I love you I'll provide acts of service for you.
Then it hit me - is this was marriage is like? I mean when you're married you spend all your time with that one person, maybe not all your time, but they are there when you go to bed and there when you wake up (AHH!). Do I need to become a quality time person? I can't just throw out my husband when he isn't doing acts of service like I did to this poor guy. I know there's compromise in a marriage, but yikes! I might need to *gasp* change. or maybe when the right person comes around I will be a quality time person... because I will want to spend time with the person I'll spend the rest of my life with. Let’s hope that’s the case – if not I’ll be calling my ex’s until the day I die.