You can't be fearful

This week has been weird!  Mainly Tuesday and Wednesday, I've been in a funk.

I think it's because I had a job interview on Monday and it wasn't as great as I thought it would be.  It went well, but he needs to fill another position before he can even think about hiring for the position I interviewed for.  So that kinda shot me down and I've been down ever since.

I'm also SO ready to start wedding planning but I can't do anything until I pick a wedding date.  I can't do that until we meet with the priest which can't happen until after Easter, so we're at a stand still.

I've also started packing up my apartment. It's really sad to come home to bare walls and boxes.   But I know it's better to get started sooner rather than later.

Today I took my vitamins (haven't done that in 5 days) and saw this quote:

source

So True.

I can't be scared I didn't get the job and grateful I was even considered for an interview.

I can't be fearful our wedding date will be unavailable and grateful I have an amazing man to marry!

I can't be scared to leave my apartment and thankful I have a safe home waiting for me on the other side. 

It's one or the other.  If I'm scared, I'm not thankful.  How can you be thankful for something you are scared of?  I know you can- I'm doing it right now, but I shouldn't.  That's the point.

It's all about perspective. 

Another night of solid sleep and I should be good to go!  Just in time for the weekend.

Living Life the the fullest with gratitude not fear.

Is a ring really necessary?!

So why an engagement ring?  

Ok, that doesn't answer the question but I thought it was funny.

According to Wikipedia an engagement ring is:

"...presented as a betrothal gift by a man to his prospective spouse while he proposes marriage or directly after she accepts his marriage proposal. It represents a formal agreement to future marriage."

I like the idea of an engagement ring.  There's an exchange.  She gives her word he gives a ring.  I'm a Carrie Bradshaw fan and who could forget the movie ending when Mr. Big asks the question, she says "yes" and then Big says "This is why there is a ring, you gotta have something to close the deal".  I agree.  Let's face it, women love the idea of marriage so much, they would probably go around saying they were engaged if they didn't need a ring to prove it! 


Which is why I'm very much on board with an engagement ring.  So much so that I pause when I think of making any drastic change WITHOUT a ring.  I know my family is expecting a ring.  I know my friends are too.  The Man in my life is such a romantic he could care less about the ring.  He just wants to the girl.  Which I understand and I love that!  But I want both.  The man and the ring.  Women are difficult, and I'm NO exception.


But it's the COST of the ring (as mentioned in my last post) that kills me.  Do you know who is to blame for this?!  De Beers.  Who's that?  That's the guy who said an engagement ring should be two month's income.  Source: Wikipedia- 

"The idea that a man should spend a significant fraction of his annual income for an engagement ring originated from De Beers marketing materials in the early 20th century, in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds.[1] In the 1930s, they suggested that a man should spend the equivalent of one month's income in the engagement ring; later they suggested that he should spend two months' income on it.[1] In 2007, the average cost of an engagement ring in USA as reported by the industry was US$2,100."

It's just marketing.  But it is ingrained in us!  Well, us women.  I'm not sure all men know that expectation.  And even if they do, I'm not sure who actually does it.  And as far as that last line in the quote "Average cost in 2007 was $2,100" - BALONEY or I just hang out with the wrong crowd.  There is no way the average cost of my friends' engagement rings is $2,100.  I don't see any of my friends getting away with NO engagement ring...not in the crowd I run with.  


I do have one friend who wanted to for go the ring all together.  She was engaged in September and married in December (of the same year).  She has a blog and wrote about why she didn't want a diamond ring.  In her conclusion: 

"Dan and I would rather our rings speak more about our hearts than our pocketbooks. Diamonds may be “indestructible,” but the might of our God is stronger."

Ay!  Talk about Catholic guilt.  But I've always felt there is a certain way to do things.  Ask my dad for permission, get down on one knee, have a ring, and then I say "yes".    He has already asked for permission, so I'll let you know when he's on one knee!!

Source

The Ring

I'm not engaged, but the Man in my life is looking for a ring.  Actually he was looking last June when we went to Vegas together!  Poor guy, walks into a Zales in Vegas and asks me to look for a ring I like.  I look at the engagement rings and even try on a few.  But I realized my fingers are really long, and if I don't get a 3 carat round cut diamond, my ring will be unnoticeable when sitting below my king kong knuckles.

So I convinced myself I needed an oval diamond.  I haven't seen too many oval diamonds and I like being unique, so I love the idea of an oval cut (like above).  However, we're in Vegas and in a diamond store and the Man really wants me to come home with a diamond ring.  So he buys me a "ring with diamonds" not a "diamond ring".  Something similar to these:

As I research diamonds more and more I realize....they are a HUGE rip off!  My goodness!  We went to Zales and found an oval solitaire 1.3 carats...we were quoted $13,000.  $13,000!!!  The Man says it's no big deal and he'll save up.  I'm starting to realize he'll be saving up for a LONG time.  And this girl has an ITCH.  A wedding itch.  A time to move on with my life itch.

While I'm scratching, I stumble across an article on AOL article (yep, I still read AOL news...not a fan of Google news layout). 

This article (which I can't find on AOL anymore, so I'm sorry there is no source) suggested a wholesale company I've never heard of:  James Allen.  They are based out of New York and do not have a store front.  

Their comparable oval diamond at 1.36 carat was $4,130.  $4,000!!  That's one THIRD of Zales.  This made me sick to my stomach!

So why does Zales cost this much?  I'm sure can figure out it's because of the hundreds of locations around the U.S.A.  Also their sales staff and their popularity.  As our sales rep at Zales said "We're the McDonalds of diamond stores".  umm wow - thanks but no thanks.  I do NOT want fries with that! 

I'm on the mad search for wholesale diamonds.  I've looked at BlueNile and ItsHot.com. 

          

I also found a local wholesale jeweler who has the same warranty and trade-in policy as Zales. 

You may be wondering why I am looking for this ring and the Man isn't.  Well for starters, I sit at a computer all day while he's on a tractor.  So I have the resources and time.  Also I'm much more money conscience than he is.  If he had $13,000 cash that day he would have bought that ring.  But I'm a sales person by trade and I know there's more than the value of the ring in that $13,000 price.  And seeing that two thirds is going to the corporation, I'm NOT on board....besides I'd love to support a local jeweler.  I know there's a possibility the local guy will go out of business (even though this company's been around for 20+ years).  But at the same time, that's why you insure your diamond!  He could skip town or I could lose the ring!  Life is full of risks.

So wish me luck on this journey!

Look for the next post on Why I'm getting a ring (and not forgoing it all together).

               Sidebar: as soon as I say I want an oval diamond to be unique, my friend from college gets an oval diamond!  But she doesn't have king kong knuckles....she's super skinny and super tiny.  Her photo below.

She did the 6 prongs, which I thought I didn't like, but it doesn't look too bad and it holds the diamond better than 4 prongs.

My hand with loose 1.3 carat diamond -->